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Will Rogers

Likes: 6
  • I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

    Likes: 1 like


  • If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

    Likes: 1 like


  • You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.

    Likes: 1 like


  • A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

    Likes: 1 like


  • The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.

    Likes: 1 like


  • Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

    Likes: 1 like


  • Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

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  • We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

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  • You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.

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  • Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

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  • Things ain't what they used to be and never were.

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  • When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.

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  • Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

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  • Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

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  • I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

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  • If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

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  • What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

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  • There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.

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  • If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.

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  • A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

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  • Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

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  • An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

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  • If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.

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  • The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

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  • One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

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  • The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

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  • Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

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  • I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.

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  • Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

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  • Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.

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